Island Abby

Faith

2009-06-13T01:13:00.004-04:00

I constantly struggle with faith. Spirituality. I would tell you that I believe in God. I would tell you that I have felt the essence of God, the presence of God many times. I could tell you that I sense that relationship in the struggles I witness and experience.

I would also say that I believe that religion as I observe it- in all it's diversity has many common threads, and that it seems possible to me that the commonalities, the foundations of various religions are the important bits. They came to us through men, representatives from specific times and places, individuals immersed in their specific cultures, speaking in native languages...prophets selected by God to trumpet the message for all to hear, translating in a way we can understand, so we can recognize.. the truth.

Where the struggle comes in for me is in what feels like worship of the prophets, and the selection of one cultures voice, Gods message piped through one cultural filter, and designated as the only way to know God.

My closest experiences with this are with Catholicism. I am at once soothed by the ritualism and continually mortified by the political actions of the church. Horrified really.

I have never been able to reconcile the truth, the vibration in the universe, with what I have ever felt in church. I have been unable to find in organized religion what my soul(? )searches for and sometimes finds in faith confirming and awe inspiring ways. Faith, for me anyway has been a solitary experience that somehow -in a million unexpected ways-connects me to everything else.

Watched: Deliver Us From Evil

JUNE

2009-06-10T21:09:00.002-04:00

I can't believe it is already June. All the plans that kept me from killing myself this winter are close to being in full swing! I am so looking forward to vacation next week, but between now and then -three days in a row at work. Boo.
I had a few good days in a row off though, so I guess I shouldn't complain. It is still cold and rainy here this week and after being encouraged by a few days of sunny warmth it kind of gets old..I planned on ditching some of my paste color and trading it for something more healthy looking...Maybe next week?
I spent the week reading The Hemingses of Monticello:An American Family by Annette Gordon-Reed. It was amazing. The book is about a family of slaves that was intertwined with Thomas Jefferson and his family. It was so interesting. I really enjoyed it. I suppose I would have said that I know a fair amount about slavery and its roots in America...but I really learned so much from this book. I loved how the author spent time on defining words..translating laws and the language of the time for me. It really put the people, places, and events in context for me in a way that I have never experienced before.

Official Start of Summer...

2009-05-25T00:02:00.005-04:00

The boys are finally out of school for the summer. The weekend has been very productive. We got a big load of mulch from the recycling center. We spent a few hours getting it in beds today. It is amazing how a little mulch cleans things up.

I saw the farmers market firing up while on my way to work the other morning. I'd like to try to work a trip there on Saturday mornings as part of our regular shopping. It would be nice to work in local food on a routine basis.

The peas are blooming. One of the varieties is purple and pink. Surprise.

First Kiss

2009-05-15T23:51:00.005-04:00

I went with J to a big field trip this week and got to watch 3rd graders in action this week. I think it was so much fun to see J's social universe in action, and it made me realize how good we have it, he is just amazing! So smart and well behaved...and in his age group, just striking.. fun to see.

I also got to go to the end of preschool field trip to the zoo with A. He got to hang out with the little girl who has been his friend this year. It was too cool to watch him interact with a child his own age, because we never really get to see that. He's always trying to keep up with older kids... We were in line to buy popcorn, Matt was ordering and paying, and the kids and I were waiting behind him. A just suddenly reached out and touched the little girls cheek, and there was this look on his face he just was suddenly so focused on her.. he leaned in and gave her a quick little peck on the cheek, she laughed and wiped off his kiss -and he just said 'your cheek is so smooth'. (Her ma had her sunscreened). It was too funny! He is who he is going to be, he has all these little thoughts and feelings, and his motivations are so innocent. His first kiss.

They also saw penguins, chased a peacock, and then fed a peacock, went to the butterfly house, saw the big cats, ate popcorn, pouted by the big spiders, checked out the desert dome and otherwise had a fun day.

We spent a few hours resting and then my father and his wife came home from Texas. We had pizza and hung out a little, and then walked to the park and watched some community festivities. There is a house down the street where they tore up the lawn and planted a garden! Good for them! I hope it really takes off. Grass is such a waste of space.

Our garden is doing well. I planted 3 cantaloupe plants and 3 red pepper plants. The peas are about to bloom I think.

When we got home M settled A in for bed and J and I headed to the neighbors. It was so great to have J with me. He's articulate and fun. All the sudden it is no trouble to have him along for most anything. I got to hold a new baby, and their porch was amazing! It is a great thing- a porch. A view of downtown as the sun goes down..a breeze, a little conversation...these days at home are great. I wish they could go on forever.

The allum are opening. The boys all call them naked ladies. I'm still not quite sure why.

Book: Reaching Up For Manhood by Geoffrey Canada

Vincent Bluff

2009-05-13T22:41:00.007-04:00

We went to Vincent bluff late this afternoon. It was sunny and breezy after thunderstorms all morning. Clear blue sky. J chased a turkey over the ridge like a neanderthal, and A ambled through the grass almost as tall as he is in places. These flowers were blooming and the smelled very sweet. Not much else blooming there right now, but I bet it will light up in a few weeks. We went down into the woods too, climbs some dead logs and steep hills. the boys threw mud balls at each other.

We chased down a snake the boys had seen at an earlier visit. It was right where they left it. Hunkered under a wood stump. It's belly was so brightly colored! Shocking red and yellow. When bothered it flipped his bright red tail at us.

BOOK: Michael Ruhlmans book about cooking...ugh can't remember the title but about professional cooking translated for the home cook. Contains a breathtaking chapter on stock. Truly. My life is changed, and I am inspired.

Garden And Other Growth

2009-05-10T22:31:00.005-04:00

The garden is flourishing. We have spinach, and radishes, and kale and rainbow chard all coming up. We thinned the seedlings and had salads. Mmmm. We planted rhubarb, and a cherry tree, and the boys planted red geraniums all along the outside of the fence for me. The geraniums were a big step for me this year. I have been a snob, I thought they would be great along the white picket fence. Then I found out that they can be over wintered, which is awesome!

I am very excited about the cherry tree, but today M found little worms on the leaves munching away. It has only been planted for a few days... M pulled them off and put them in a baggie in the yard, we looked out the window later and saw a group of three sparrows chasing the baggie, pecking viciously at it. It was amusing.

We also planted zucchini and cucumber seeds, and we have a few cantaloupe and sweet red peppers. We planted nasturtium seeds here and there and a couple really beautiful ornamental purple cabbages. The raspberries appear to be waking up, and we are looking forward to seeing those bloom. It is so satisfying to grow things to eat in our little yard. I feel so connected to this place when we use it this way.

These two weeks have been productive. In the yard. But also in other ways. M is done with the semester of college. He will have the summer off before student teaching. I am glad to have him home again, I am glad to get to sit on the porch and see him working on a project, I am glad to spend my days off from the hospital working in the yard with the boys and him. Making meals, hanging laundry on the line, watching boys play, the work and chatter broken up only by picking J up from school. Soon he will be done for the summer too...it's so nice to be together again..I wish these days could go on forever.

I have been disenchanted with work. I have felt a lack of interest, a lack of ambition. This follows a very productive period for me at work, where I was challenging myself daily.. I want to try something new, but I don't want to sacrifice anymore of my time to that right now I guess..there is just this sense that things there at work are in limbo..unsettled, and I am not sure where to go with my feelings about work and career.. I feel like I am just burrowing in here, waiting to see how things there pan out. I do think it is funny though that just when I think I am totally burnt out on all things having to do with Nursing, and I mean bankrupt, not interested in people, or outcomes, or science or medicine or nurturing in any way- I run across a few patients or families or a coworker who just amazes me..tells me an amazing story that breaks my heart unexpectedly, really angers me,or otherwise re-engages me in the human condition..just when I think it is time to check out completely. People are disgusting, heartless, lazy, smelly, and we have such short memories. We are not consistently creative. We are messy, our feelings are messy. That is the great thing too though...the messiness...it's that that I find so amazing..the feelings that spill out of us, the history that we work so hard at remembering, the scars, the dedication we are capable of..the huge things we can accomplish if we work together and manage to look beyond ourselves at all even for a second. I love how much things mean to us even though we have so little understanding of our work, the universe, or our own bodies..I think it is funny and charming, ironic, and infuriating all the meaning we infuse into things, all the events, and interactions and happenings that we try to force into orderly submission. I love that no matter how hard we try to neaten things up, if there is any pressure applied to us at all we all just ooze and fizzle, pop. Explode, implode. Our inner selves are combustible. Chemistry experiments. Constant interaction. Breaking down and reforming. Continents shifting, constant revision.

I ran into some great people this week. I heard some fascinating stories.

This week:

We Shall Remain - online. last episode airs Mon. night on TV. So engrossing. Changes how I feel as an American, and as a citizen of the world.

Locusts: Movie starring young Vince Vaughn in dramatic role. Interesting. In the same night watched Tully, which was also good. Both featured pastoral scenes, and sounds which were very familiar and pleasing, and are also rarely depicted in film...or rarely depicted well anyway.

BOOK: The Stolen Village - story of 17th century village in Ireland raided by Barbary pirates.- just starting.

Too Much

2009-04-01T23:22:00.005-04:00

I am completely freaking out. I went down in the basement to put in a load of laundry. My basement is stuffed to the rafters. I can't believe it. Wrappers. Garbage. Old mops, empty containers, half empty soda bottles??? I don't even know what happened down there. J carried 10 tons of garbage to the cans. I swept the laundry room and sorted the piles. I really am disgusted by myself and my s/o.

I know that my attention to detail is sporadic, I let a lot go. Because I don't want my life to be about housework...I know that it is not important to my husband at all, and if things are sanitary/picked up, I don't worry obsessively about dust etc. But I start to resent it after awhile. I come up with all these plans and we follow them for awhile and then all the sudden I realize no one is cleaning anymore and we have to 'have the conversation', and regroup. It is all so boring. The grinding, epic war against disorder.

Sure, we could let it go. I can pretend it doesn't bother me. I can say that I live with a bunch of boys and no one really cares about mopping but me. So why should I? Why should I be the maid, or nag everyone else to pitch in, to do housework the way that it should be done.Why should I spend my days off catching up instead of interacting with the children?

The disheartening truth is that I think a messy house spills over everywhere else. I feel pressured, stifled, harassed, and depressed. I feel less creative...with cooking and with my willingness to participate with the other people in my family. I won't go to the park and play, or go exercise, because I should clean, I don't want to clean so I sit there and think of what I should be doing...while I sit there time flies by. I don't want to get up in the morning and see what is waiting me. I hate starting, knowing it will be hard to find a stopping place when each drawer and closet is packed full of random objects, dog hair and dust.

I am going to go through each room. Throw away everything broken, give away old, outgrown, ridiculous, and unnecessary. I am going to get rid of furniture I don't care about, fix the sad furniture that I still like.

I would like to reduce the toy pile by 50%. The kids can sell them and keep the money. They are actually on board with this plan.This can be done by June. What a relief it would be.

I could sit in a chair and all the flat surfaces of the furniture could be smooth and clean. ahhh.

Clean house, clean car, organized work, organized mind. My spring plan.

I would be more likely to pick up and work on a project with the kids, or for the house if I were not distracted and depressed by the nagging mess.

Giving in... Technology

2009-01-15T00:27:00.005-05:00

Well- I don't think anyone even checks this site anymore, but I really do intend to try to keep this up now that we have internet access again. Probably for good. I guess I finally gave in. I purchased a game system for the living room. We bought a laptop. The children look things up all the time like it is second nature. I suppose it is for them. 'They' kept saying that everything would go this way, I guess it just somehow did not seem possible. I really didn't think that this would be that important to my kids.. I thought I could slow the whole world down for them and that they wouldn't even notice. But the oldest said the other day that all the other kids know more about computers than him and his teacher has to help him look things up...it made him feel weird. Even though he reads better than most adults I know. I figured he would use technology the way I did...hacking out a few sentences on the 1 community computer in the library, but he says they use them nearly every day. I suddenly realized that I may be doing him a disservice after all. So we are embracing 'the future'.

I find myself now in an odd position. I feel like a guard at a much larger, more fragile gate. The outside is pushing in and the inside is starting to push out... I hope we will teach them well. I hope I remember not to be afraid of everything. When you are young, you are not afraid of anything.

Green Thumb

2008-07-19T18:27:00.006-04:00

This spring I obsessed over gardening. I poured over seed catalogues. I dreamed of salads. Matt built a raised bed, we filled it with rich soil. We planted spinach, white hailstone radish, bright lights swiss chard. I started tomatoes and hollyhocks and peppers from seed inside while the snow went on and on and on.

The greens were a hit. While it was still cool out we enjoyed many fresh greens. We made soup with radish greens, and had ragged jack kale, and lettuce galore. HUGELY satisfying.

We planted zucchini and 2 kinds of tomato as soon as it was time and all was going very well when a huge storm hit. (Matt had just placed a huge trellis in the bed for the long viney tomato) Vines were shredded. Pummeled with hail. Mashed, and frayed from whipping in the wind. Although sad, we let the battered shreds die before clearing everything out. I had some serious casualties, the zucchini on the porch that were just starting to produce were left weak and vulnerable to grubs... ewww.

While some tomato vines were damaged beyond repair, most are healed and starting to bllom again. little green babies are dotting the vines. I hope they have time to ripen. The pumpkin and melon and the other zucchini are making a big come back. The scarlet runner beans are recovering and starting to produce, they are a surprising beauty. Striking really. We really like our garden and we were never go back to being unproductive.

This Is For You Margaret...Joy.

2007-10-28T16:38:00.000-04:00

I lost my blog, I found it today. It took many tries with various passwords and I was frustrated. I guess I don't have anything all that creative to say. After this posting I am going to start using only my own photos. Because pulling random photos off the internet is pretty lame. Usually. Not always.

I am pretty excited about the arrival of cool weather. Although it makes me unnaturally sleepy. I have to admit that I never have all that much energy. To tell the truth I am always wishing I could go back to bed. How is that for awesome? I wonder if it is allergy related or just boringish personality? I have a cold. My sinuses hurt. I want hot tea, I have to pee. My eyes are watery and feel blurry and weak. Last time Matt went to pick up contacts for me they did not have my prescription so the gave me something close. (Wahl Optical).. They ROCK. Can they do that? I have a hard time reading signs, but I can read most print ok. I want a new optical store, because I hate the lady at the front desk. She is rude and always I kick myself for giving her my money. She never says thank you.

This Is boring for me too. Next time I will write a kick ass story. Happy Halloween.

Glad To Leave Las Vegas

2006-07-30T11:52:00.000-04:00

My sisters wedding was good. My questions about her choice of life partner were eased as I met his family, and further relieved as I saw his face during the exchange of vows. They looked very happy, and pleased with themselves. I wish them many years of shared experiences, and lots of good laughs together.
Las Vegas itself, not enjoyable. I hated gambling and only lost three dollars before I grew resentful and quit blowing my money. I don't visit houses of prostitution,or strip joints, I would not go see carrot top if he were in my back yard, so entertainment options were limited to dorky tourist stuff, and I have never stood in line so much in my life. I spent some time wandering from themed hotel to themed hotel looking for a good time. Something wild and enchanting, something that I could 'leave in Vegas..' , but to my unsurprised dismay, just like everywhere else on earth, you have to create your own entertainment. I only saw regular, tired, hot, tourists much like myself. Some were intoxicated to the point of embarrassment, other than that all pretty nondescript, except the dirty bathrooms, filthy carpets, hot pools filled with too many greased up people, no organic food,no natural environments, and did I mention lines?
I would not complain so much, but people clamor to visit the city, and I just don't get it. I guess they are exactly the types who go on huge cruise ships and gorge themselves on mediocre food for the priveledge of hanging out with all kinds of germ carriers. (In my mind I call them human vectors..) The best part of Vegas was dinner at J's sisters home. They were hospitable, and relaxing to hang out with. It was great to have the kids in a normal environment.
We did go to red rock canyon, and had a super delightful desert experience. It really reinforced the much overlooked fact that as humans, we really are feeble babies. Without airconditioning and water and shade, we are totally vulnerable. The desert is totally inhospitable to human life. I cant believe we settled that part of the country. My favorite part of the desert was the watch out for burro signage- super weird and funny. A big yellow caution diamond with a burro silhouette on it. hahahaha.
The drive to San Diego was amazing (again with the desert) Just hot... We stopped at Calico California, after leaving the ghost town, we saw a big desert rain storm, lightning and all. The ground was so hot the water steamed as it hit the sand. Outside LA traffic was back up because of grass fires and we saw firefighters working right along the roadside. Pretty amazing stuff. We ended our day taking a dip in the Pacific. All my babies have touched the ocean. It was fun stuff.
All in all interesting, and so relaxing to just be with my boys for days and days. Thanks guys for a good trip. It is good to be home.

I Want To GOOOOO.

2006-03-26T13:52:00.000-05:00

So this is it. Those of you that love me and depend on me, please take no offense. This morning on the way to work the sun was up and as I crossed the Missouri to punch the clock the city of Omaha was glittering orange in the sun. So the worst of the winter is over.. And every year it happens. The weather changes and I really want to toss my clothes in the car and pick up a pack of smokes, take the keys and go. This weather makes me miss good 'ole Copper. Those of you who knew her, a moment of silence please...........She crossed the country several times with little or no maintainence. What a companion. She was filled with smoke, and traveling music, and good intentions, and just flew across our nations great highways.
Oh, back to my original rant. I wanted to keep heading west this morning. I want to drive to California. Oh, I know it is all cliche. But really. I haven't been in so long. I have an emotional void at this time. It may be just this week, it may be permanent, but IM sort of sick of taking care of folks is an actual term for this but I've forgotten it. They told us about it in college, and I only half listened I thought it was ridiculous. But here it is I have nothing left. And I just want to go somewhere else. And either sleep or do something novel. Fun adventurous...I want to watch J in the water and A eating sand. There is no gentle way of saying it. I take care of people at work and at home, and while M has been busting his hump on my fence, I have missed his help with the boys and I'm done being in one place. The last two days it was cold, and the snow is littered with mud and dog shit and the sky is grey. (Not pretty grey. Go back to bed grey. And I can't I can NEVER go back to bed, even when I do go back to bed I hear people I feel guilty for missing stuff I know they need things, that is not the same as going back to bed. When I watch TV and I see people sleeping I am jealous. Its not the hot supermodel sex, it's all the sleeping. They just rub it in my face....I want to quit working and cleaning and being helpful and nice and warm and motherly and just go back to sleep, ugh. I want to sleep at three in the afternoon. I want to eat and go for a walk and then go back to sleep) This kind of insanity grips me. why cant I just leave.( Then of course I realize that I would get no further than the scrubby part of Nebraska before I missed the skittles. So it becomes why cant I just put them in the car and leave?) and it makes perfect sense to me. I look around me, and know that this is not reasonable thinking. But why not.. A road trip. Ugh. I am mourning for the days that I would quit my job if it were to cold to go to work. Or too boring or too stressfull. Or just too many days in a row. At any rate I have planned a trip to California in its entirety- at least where I want to go geographically, M if you are reading this you should know, if you come home from class and we are all gone, you can catch up with us in Big Sur, it is only a matter of time.

A Recent Death, Picket Fences, and Spring

2006-03-19T16:24:00.000-05:00

The Hegehog is dead. I think, in retrospect of course, that he never really was well. His days and nights were marked by feeble scuffling and lethargy. Not at all the funny, busy, bright eyed pet we'd hoped for. Once we realized that his days were numbered, and we kept him clean and fed and waited somewhat anxiously for the end. Our son had a very dignified burial for him, and his corpse will rest nestled forever in our herb garden. I feel guilty about all this of course. Everyone knows that an exotic pet is a bad idea. I knew the likelyhood of Squint being happy in a glass aquarium in my living room was... nil. I also knew this would be the case no matter how enriched his environment was, or how hard we tried. I also knew that if you are dumb enough to buy an exotic animal of some kind, you should pick the healthiest one, not the one with the crooked face earned by freefalling from astounding heights...but I can drown out my common sense voice very easily...and his spines were the prettiest in the whole store.. anyway. No more pets. Just Rocky and he is not a pet ,he is a dog... he ate an entire block of dill havarti yesterday with no apparant ill effects, his behavior is often annoying, yes. But predictable, and familiar, and easy to relate to. Who WOULDNT want to eat an entire block of dill havarti, He is almost human. The hedgehog was alien, not meant for this world.
On fences. I love picket fences. I don't know why. It must be residual from another life. I like the symmetry. The lines. The division of space. The structure they provide for organic forms. I like the old feel to them. I like that they are labor intensive. My husband is working on a picket fence around our yard. This is not it. when it is done I will put up a photo of it. It will be simple and wooden. It will keep our boys in, undesired individuals out, prop up lavender and thyme, wild yellow roses, thornless raspberries that will be planted as a gift to our second born, and some tall grasses, of undecided stature. As M. was working on the fence yesterday I realized I want my boys to all stay with me, just like this, forever. I want them to laugh and talk and eat and sleep here forever. I want them to stay little forever. I want them to grow up too, I guess. though not really. Not today. Not this week. I want them to wait until I am ready.
Yesterday the baby schooched a chair out from the dining room table and with a wide crazy grin on his face started puhing it across the house..WALKING. He thinks he invented it yesterday. So funny. His short little legs were moving so fast, he looked like a lunatic. Still small and almost totally bald he does not look like he should be able to move that fast. But he has a taste of it now. With no help or encouragement from me he is learning to walk.

Eight Years Ago

2006-01-14T23:44:00.000-05:00

This New Years Eve was our eighth anniversary. Unbelievable. I remember the afternoon of our wedding like it was yesterday. We were so young. I was so scared. I think I would have told you otherwise on that day, but in retrospect I was scared. How was I supposed to know if I was indeed making the right decision? There is no way to know if your gut is to be trusted in the long run. I know I cried all the way through our wedding..I'm glad it was just us there for that reason, after the short ceremony he carried me piggy back to the surf edge, and we pressed our palms into the cold water and sand. There in our early twenties, at the edge of America, on the cusp of a new year, at the begining of a new life together, at that moment I think I knew it would be okay. That is how I remember it now anyway.
Eight years and two little boys later my house is more filled with life, and warmth, and real people that I like than I ever thought was possible. I am short sometimes. Overwhelmed sometimes. TIRED sometimes. I haven't been alone without guilt since the oldest was born 6 years ago, and I can't remember sleeping like a real person. Really sleeping. Without the heavy ( but reassuring- welcome) sense of responsibility in the back of my mind, but what is also consistant is the amazement, the profound-ness, the luck, the joy, of being one person.. sad, and alone, and without purpose.. and meeting someone else, another person, someone not to be with, but some one I feel I BECAME with.... you see? Grew into an adult with. And now the children, 2 more that I never tire of. That are interesting. and fun. That are from us, like us, but not us. It is so strange. 1 then 2, now 4.
I know it is corny and cliche and all that.. but really. That is it. For the ups and downs, for the new lives, for the colds, runny noses and fevers, for the tight finances, the bad check pizza, the buffer from harshness, for the new couch we picked out together, for sharing the pod, doing the laundry, replacing my contact solution, loving me when I was Bodey, loving our boys, working through anxieties together, not doing day care, the sleepless four years, patience, believing in eachother, garbage collecting and taking out, getting attached to random pets, appreciating the impulsivity, appreciating the even-ness, putting our names in the songs you sing, tools, the base boards, finishing my projects, not being mad about the kitchen floor being torn up with out your permission, and the 6 layers you had to tear up, the garden, the apple tree, knowing we needed a second baby, ace-ing school, reading to J, his workbench, your work boots, not washing your jeans, listening to my shit, telling me about your day, letting me in on your secret anxieties, helping me with mine, for all that, thankyou M. It has been much more work, and love than I would have ever guessed that day eight years ago. I had no idea. Here is to the next chapter.

I Live With Darth Vader

2005-12-22T23:15:00.000-05:00

J has a voice changing D.V. mask. He has been asking for one for months, we have said no repeatedly, not out of lack of love, or understanding, but because we knew it would make us crazy. We try to be unselfish. We really do. But there has to be a limit. Anyway when the Grands called and asked if they could get one for Christmas I had to say yes. It's such a cool gift, and I knew how shiny his eyes would get..and that is a grandparents right, to be the good guy. The understanding ones....He walked around like this for 2 days. All breathing and standing close to us, demanding that we watch and listen and enjoy with him the amazing voice changing power of the helmet. It also has pre programed phrases in Darth's own voice, for when you run out of evil and ominous phrases of your own invention... which comes in handy, I can't even tell you. The most disturbing thing for me was that he would wear regular closthes under this get up, and the pants would bunch under the costume, as you can see here...I am a very steadfast and vigilant non bunchy person, to a fault even, and this was almost enough to make me insane on its own accord. He seems to have calmed down now though, regretfully probably because he is under the thumb of another cold. I am thinking of home schooling him, just because of the constant onslaught of viral illness that has plagued us since this whole education thing started. I think all they do at school is exchange snot. Anyway now that I write this I wish he was heavy breathing in his helmet instead of snoring in his sleep, burdened with all those happy winter secretions... Love to all, dont forget that frequent hand washing is the first step in preventing infectious disease....break the chain all, break the chain.. in the same direction, why do so many people send their sick kids to school. Think how fewer colds peoplw would get if folks had the common courtesy to stay home when ill, or wear a mask or something.. geez.

New 'Family Member'

2005-12-16T23:37:00.000-05:00

This is him. Not only does he POOP. He hisses, hops, grunts, scuffles snorts, and pokes around. His left eye is a little sunk in, and his snout is a little off center. The pet store owner told us a charming tale about one of the three hedgehogs escaping and falling from a fairly great height,(he's not sure which one...hmm maybe the one with the messed up little face that we are buying..) and came away surprisingly 'unscathed'. Anyway the dog is spazzed out about the hedgie. Tonight he (the appropriately named SQUINT) rests peacefully, I am terrified he will escape, but I assume the howling dog would let me know..anyway..tomorrow is his first bath.. that will be hysterical. What the hell is wrong with us? Those who know me, don't answer..the kid is happy..what else matters? My sister is trying to get rid of the rodents in her house, and I am buying them. I won't tell anyone how much he costs. Actually all this bluster is partially due to the fact that I think he is pretty cute. Every time he stands up I am surprised his tiny legs support him. hee hee.

scarlatina

2005-12-05T11:53:00.000-05:00

This week was big, the first big snow of the winter. It was beautiful. Coming home from work the other night the flakes were huge and perfect. Postcard snow. I was mesmerized by the snow in the headlights and street lamps. When I got home I got J out of bed and he got to go out in the front yard and lay on his back and watch the snow fall from the night sky.... I hope he remembers it forever. I will.

Yesterday was huge too. The Christmas tree got put up, J did most of the decorating himself. The ladder was the most fun for him. He almost died several times, and he is always happiest when he is nearest to severe injury. Luckily I was too tired to be too nervous, but in retrospect it was scarey.
We also had the priviledge of taking a trip to the ER. J had a rash from his strep throat on Sunday. The scarlatina rash was our hint. He was miserable, but is so tough that he did not really complain about a sore throat, just a stiff neck. A simple 5 minute lab test and a round of amoxicillin taken for 10 days, or a injection in the butt cheek (which he violently refused), will save him from heart valve damage, and kidney damage. I would post a link but I dont know how yet. The rash is caused by toxins from strep bacteria, interesting huh? I learned that only some people will manifest with the rash, they are more sensitive to the toxins than others. Germs are weird. I want to add antibiotics to my 'I am thankful for...' list. On a more personal note - this is for you CAT, I was the first to post pictures ...it is on. You are taking care of the baby right now, and I love you.

Post One-The New World, And Hedgehogs

2005-12-04T05:57:00.000-05:00

So, this is it. Post one. It's almost 5 am during a surprise night shift. I saw myself in the mirror in the bathroom a few minutes ago and I look crazed...dayquil..it's good stuff. The whole fam is sick again, Im rolling through the third cold so far this winter.
Thinking of buying the son a hedgehog for christmas, but it will eat, and poop, and make noise, and there is no guarentee that the kid will like it or love it. It will be another thing to be responsible for. Rethinking the hedgehog thing. It would be nice if there was such a thing as pet rental. More our speed.